We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's great music for shaving your balls
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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