you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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