Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize