Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
