he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize