I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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