So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
do nipples grow back?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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