I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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