Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
