So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize