i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
