An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
