you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
