My Higher Power is John Stamos
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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