Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Non-Jews are for practice
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
