i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
