They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
