he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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