We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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