Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
only if we run a train.
done.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
