They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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