Me too!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
