So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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