cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
