And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
