I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
