I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
