Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Are we still banned from the library?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
