I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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