Don't you send me to vm
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
