Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
