i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
