And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
