She is in my trunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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