alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Watching her eat just hurts me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
