You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
