another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
