I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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