if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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