Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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