I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
