I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We had sex on a dog bed..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
