She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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