She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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