the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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