Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
