billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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