sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
