Dual....:-)
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize