tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
