That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
