Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
