So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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