I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
