i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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