I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
