What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
