Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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