If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You may now shotgun with the bride
That accounts for only three of the penises
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
